Inside the Tootville High School gymnasium, the mighty Chickens were warming up for their practice in preparation for the upcoming championship game. Spaz was alone at one hoop working on two-footers. He launched an erratic shot toward the basket. It rolled around the rim for several seconds and then fell out of the hoop. “Drat,” said Spaz. “I’ll never make one.”
Tommy loped up from the other end of the court. “You’ve got to relax, Spaz,” he said to his friend. “You’ll never get it if you’re too tense. Just relax and let the magic flow through you. Like this.” Tommy grabbed the basketball, dribbled between his legs, spun around and flung up a twenty-footer. It fell neatly through the hoop.
“You make it look so easy,” said Spaz, enviously.
“It is easy. It just takes practice and a positive attitude.” Tommy picked up the ball, handed it to Spaz, patted him on the shoulder and trotted off.
“I think I can. I think I can. I think I can,” Spaz muttered in his most positive tone of voice. He threw up another shot. It rolled around the rim for several seconds and then once again spun out of the hoop and fell to the hardwood floor. Coach Dribble, at the other end of the court, blew a whistle. The Chickens hustled over to where he was standing and gathered around him. “Attention, men,” said the coach. “I want to make a couple of announcements before we get started. First, I’ve heard a rumor that we may have college scouts at the game on Thursday night. That’s another reason to be looking your best. Second, I want to introduce a new member of our team, Stretch Dribble. Stretch has just transferred to Tootville High and is eligible to participate in athletic events. I expect him to be a great asset to our team. Now let’s get started. Red team is the same as usual and starts on defense. You’ll be playing man to man. Stretch, you’ll be taking the power forward spot on the blue team.”
Tommy protested vehemently. “That’s my position!”
“You mean was your position,” said Stretch with a sneer.
“Sit down, Dinkle,” said Coach Dribble. “Let’s see what he can do.”
Tommy flopped dejectedly down on the bleacher bench, threw a towel over his head and stared disconsolately at his teammates on the hardwood floor. Sitting on the bench was something entirely new to him and he hated it. The blue team inbounded the ball and moved it downcourt. Stretch got a pass from Lardo, but was immediately picked up by Spaz. Stretch used a head fake to the left and drove right, roughly knocking Spaz down in the process. Tootville’s new basketball sensation scored with an uncontested layup. Tommy jumped up from the bench, raced over and shoved Stretch. “This is basketball, not a demolition derby!”
Stretch shoved him back. “He fouled me!”
The two boys squared off to fight but Coach Dribble sprinted over and, standing between them at crotch level, pushed them apart. “Save it for Thursday night,” he growled.
The boys backed off but continued to stare angrily at one another.
___
Inside the boy’s locker room, a nerd was showering when Fishface surreptitiously entered and crept stealthily down an aisle. She left a festively decorated container of frijole delight on a bench by the lockers where she hoped Tommy would find it. The nerd finished showering and, whistling, walked with a towel wrapped around his neck to the locker area. As he rounded the corner of the lockers, he came face to face with Fishface. Fishface looked at the naked nerd. The naked nerd looked at Fishface. They screamed simultaneously.
___
The practice was coming to an end. Coach Dribble blew a whistle as the mighty Chickens ran laps around the court.
“All right, men. That’s enough for today. Good practice. Hit the showers.”
The Chickens sprinted through the gymnasium doorway that led to the locker room as Big Louie entered through the opposite doorway. Big Louie walked toward Coach Dribble. He appeared irate.
“Uh, oh. Beam me up, Scotty,” the coach muttered to himself. He turned and tried to quickly make a beeline for the exit but Big Louie’s two henchmen, appearing from nowhere, grabbed him by the shoulders, lifted him effortlessly from the ground and did an about-face with him. Coach Dribble, dangling in the air, greeted Big Louie with a limp smile.
“I been doing some checkin around, coach,” said Big Louie seriously.
“Oh?” Coach Dribble responded weakly.
“I found out you got a new player on your team. A good one.”
“So? There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not illegal for a student to transfer from one school to another.”
“When the student just happens to be a first team all-conference basketball player for three years in a row, something is wrong. The bet is off.”
“You can’t do this! Everything is legal! You can’t cancel the bet!”
“The bet is off!” The henchmen dropped the coach and followed Big Louie back through the doorway.
Inside the locker room, Tommy sat on the bench in front of his locker, dejectedly removing his tennis shoes and socks. “I’m playing second string behind a total jerk.” He threw his shoe against the locker door.
As Spaz and Lardo walked down the aisle toward Tommy, Spaz noticed the frijole delight. He picked up a card set on top of the container and read it out loud. “To my darling, Tommy. What I feel for you is hotter than this delicious bowl of beans. Signed, an ardent admirer. Wow, Tommy, this is for you!”
“Terrific,” said Tommy. “That’s just what I need. Beans.”
Lardo mumbled somewhat sadly, “Nobody ever gives me beans.”
“Aw, don’t take it so hard, Tommy,” said Spaz. “The coach just wants to make sure we win the big one Thursday night.”
“We could win it by ourselves without that guy. We have the talent. We’re the ones who have made it this far. It just isn’t fair.”
“Maybe not but there’s not much we can do about it. After all, the coach is the coach.”
“The coach is the coach,” mimicked Lardo. “Those have to be the most intelligent words you’ve ever spoken.”
“Lay off, will you, Lardo?” Spaz sat down and started undressing to shower. “At least I know one thing that will cheer you up.”
“What’s that?” Tommy asked, wishing for a meteorite to come crash-landing down on the new first-string power forward.
“Our science assignment, of course. We get to go out and observe the constellations together. Like Mr. Beaker says, this assignment could very well change our lives. See you at nine-thirty?”
“I can hardly wait.”
“What about the beans?” Lardo asked, trying not to drool. “Are you gonna keep them?”
“Maybe you’d better,” said Spaz. “What if Linda made them?”
“Good point,” said Tommy. At least he still had the eternal adoration and affection of the most beautiful girl in Tootville.