The lunchroom was jammed with students talking and eating. Tommy was sitting at a table with Spaz and Lardo. Tommy, broken detectacles on the table, faced the lunchroom door. Spaz was munching on a sandwich from a sack lunch he had brought from home. Lardo was busy spooning beans from a can and surreptitiously flipping them into the air. He was aiming them at a big-breasted girl wearing a low-cut waitress outfit who sat several tables away. He flipped a spoonful up but his aim was bad and the gob of beans stuck to the ceiling. Fishface sat at the next table over, listening intently to the conversation that was taking place at the table where Tommy sat.
“Too high,” said Lardo, disappointment showing on his face.
“Don’t you see?” said Tommy. “It has to be one of them. The alien went into the lounge and when I followed it, there were four people inside. No, I take that back. Actually, there were three people and one alien shapeshifter in human form.”
Spaz removed a small bag of potato chips from his sack. His efforts to tear open the bag proved futile. Lardo paused from flipping beans, grabbed the bag and easily ripped it open for his friend. “So you’re saying that a creature from outer space just happens to come to Tootville and kill Officer Down and then takes the shape of someone in the teacher’s lounge and you’re supposed to track this monster down and kill it,” said Lardo.
“Right,” reaffirmed Tommy, glad that Lardo had it all straight.
Lardo resumed flipping his beans. “You’re full of baloney. How come you can see this thing and nobody else can?”
“I can’t anymore,” Tommy replied, holding up the smashed detectacles and then putting them on. “The only way I could see the alien was with these. But before they broke I did see it go into the lounge. Now I just have to figure out which one of the four is the shapeshifter and dispose of it before anyone else gets hurt.”
One of Lardo’s bean bombs flew through the air and smacked a male student in one lens of his glasses. The soggy mess dripped down onto a book the student was reading.
“But suppose you dispose of the wrong one?” asked Spaz.
“You’re right,” replied Tommy seriously. “I’ve got to make sure that the one I blast is the right one.”
Spaz pulled a can of soda pop from his sack and popped the tab to open the beverage. Foam sprayed in the direction of Tommy. He quickly covered his daisy with both of his hands. “Watch it!” he yelled in horror.
“Sorry,” said Spaz apologetically, surprised at the extreme reaction from his friend.
“You almost got us blown to pieces,” Tommy explained angrily. “This may look like a flower but in reality it’s a water-activated space bomb. This whole cafeteria could have been blasted apart.”
Lardo looked at Tommy with new understanding. “You really are a dork,” he said.
“Not yet,” said Tommy, “But I’m trying.”
Linda, Flora and Fauna appeared in the lunchroom doorway. Tommy instantly spotted Linda, who was wearing Tommy’s letterman jacket, and waved but she didn’t see him. Perhaps it was the glasses Tommy was wearing, but she seemed to be looking for someone else.
“Excuse me,” Tommy said to his friends. He stood up and, with a big smile on his face that was barely visible beneath the detectacles, walked toward Linda.
At the table, Spaz looked at Lardo. “Well, what do you think?
“I think he’s flipped,” said Lardo. “Being made second string has been too much of a strain on his poor brain.”
“You may be right,” Spaz agreed, nodding his head.
Lardo launched another spoonful of beans into the air. This time it landed down the front of the girl student’s dress. She looked up in amazement and screamed. “Bullseye!” yelled Lardo.
“Linda,” Tommy said, as he approached the lunchroom doorway. “I’ve been looking for you.”
“Weirdo,” said Flora to Tommy.
“Pervert,” echoed Fauna. Flora and Fauna walked huffily past Tommy into the lunchroom, leaving him standing alone with Linda.
“Where should I meet you after the game?”
“For what?” asked the head cheerleader, staring hard at Tommy’s huge eyes.
“To take you to the victory dance, of course,” replied Tommy, surprised at her question.
“You don’t have to meet me anywhere,” said Linda in a serious voice.
“Why not?” asked Tommy, confused.
“Stretch already asked me and I’m going with him,” said Linda.
“ What?” Tommy blurted out. “He can’t do that. You’re my girlfriend.”
“Tommy, we need to talk. Last night, sitting in Stretch’s Corvette, looking up at the stars, well, it’s had a big effect on me. Mr. Beaker was right. My whole life has changed. That’s why I’m returning this to you.” Linda took off Tommy’s letterman jacket and handed it to him.
“Why are you doing this to me?” Tommy asked, dumbfounded. “I thought you said you’d always love me.”
“Tommy, that was two days ago,” Linda said, patiently. “Things have changed since then. She gave him a peck on the cheek. “You’re so understanding.” Linda walked into the lunchroom to join her friends, leaving Tommy standing in the doorway, letterman jacket in his hands.
___
Tommy, letterman jacket and detactacles on, sat dejectedly against the wall in the school hallway, staring at a small bug crawling away from him on the floor. A passing student unknowingly stepped directly on the bug, leaving nothing more than a spot. Maybe someone should do that to me, Tommy thought dejectedly to himself. The last couple of days had not been good ones for him. He was now second string, his girlfriend had dumped him, his parents were still arguing about what they wanted Tommy to do when he graduated from school and he had been abandoned by Sheriff Zon, with a seven-foot tall killer alien loose somewhere in the school building. How could things possibly get any worse?
Fishface approached him as he stared sadly down at the spot on the floor. “That’s seven years of bad luck,” she said brightly, trying to begin a conversation.
Tommy recognized the voice of Fishface but continued to stare down at the spot. He didn’t bother with a reply.
“For each lens,” Fishface added with a hopeful smile. She had observed Tommy getting dumped by Linda in the cafeteria and had mixed feelings about what had happened. On one hand she felt sad at the pain she knew Tommy was experiencing. On the other hand, she knew he deserved someone better – someone called Fishface.
“Thanks for the encouragement,” came the dry reply. Tommy looked up at the strangely dressed girl.
Fishface, grateful to at last be having a real conversation with her dream guy, said, “I overheard what you told Spaz and Lardo in the cafeteria.”
“And?” asked Tommy, staring up at the girl. This was the last thing he needed. On top of all his other problems here was the weirdest looking girl in school about to make fun of him.
“And I think they’re having a hard time believing you.”
“Well, what do you think? Is there a killer alien parading around in somebody else’s shape or am I losing my marbles? Officer Down is dead. Somebody or some thing tore him to pieces,” said Tommy angrily. Maybe it wasn’t this girl. Maybe he was just angry at the way things were going in his life but right now he had someone to focus on.
“I don’t know,” Fishface responded slowly. The conversation wasn’t turning out the way she had meant it to. She wanted to somehow console Tommy and also let him know that there was someone else who would really care for him. “I want to believe you but it all sounds so weird,” she finally said truthfully.
Tommy jumped to his feet and angrily exploded, “Okay, so that’s the way it is. I’m crazy. You know, maybe by next week my problems will be solved,” he yelled in anger, “But all you have to look forward to for the rest of your life is goofy-looking polka dot dresses, braids and stretched out socks.”
Tommy stomped away from Fishface. With tears in her eyes, she looked at the retreating figure. “Take a look at yourself!” she yelled after him. “What makes you think you look any better?” Fishface sobbed and began to run in the opposite direction.