Holding her mug directly in front of her face, Emalynn peered into the reddish drink and excitedly shouted, “I’VE GOT A GREAT IDEA! LET’S BOTH THINK OF MR. PITTS AT THE SAME TIME AND THEN DRINK TOGETHER. THEN HE’LL HAVE A DOUBLY STRONG SURPRISE.”
Eagerly they brought their mugs together in a friendly toast and followed their salutation by taking long sustained guzzles. After concluding their imbibing with a bang of their mugs on the counter, they wiped the runny foam from off their mouths.
“THAT WAS FUN,” shouted Jacob. “I BET HE REALLY APPRECIATED IT!”
“LET’S TOAST TO EVERYBODY ELSE WE KNOW,” suggested Emalynn.
“ME FIRST,” cried Jacob, eager to offer one. “TO DERRICK, MAY HIS BATH WATER BUBBLE.” He lifted his mug in toast as Emalynn raised her mug up, clinking it loudly against his. The two then guzzled down their smooth drinks.
“TO MOM AND DAD, MAY THEY DELIGHT IN EACH OTHERS FRAGRANCE,” hollered Emalynn in another toast, both gulping it down quickly.
“TO MISS KIPPER, MAY HER TEACHING BE EMBELLISHED WITH THE WIND OF A PIPER,” celebrated Jacob, as they again both guzzled another mouthful.
Their toasting continued on until they gradually drank their way through the entire pitcher of the bubbly drink, and could absolutely quaff no more. Jacob couldn’t help but imagine the embarrassing circumstances and the surprised faces of all those who were at the receiving end of their salutations.
“I CAN’T TAKE ANOTHER SIP,” moaned Emalynn loudly, pushing her mug away. She then opened her mouth and exploded with a blaring, “BLUUUUUUURP.” Quickly reacting to her bad manners, she covered her mouth with her hand. “WAS THAT ME!” she exclaimed through cupped hand.
Unable to stop himself Jacob again roared with laughter, but in the middle of his coarse chortle a savory blast of air shot up through his throat, resonating in a deep, “BLAUUURP!” Regurgitated Celser Wiff spewed over the countertop, and he looked down at a nasty mess in shock, ending his mirth in a most embarrassing way.
“UNFORTUNATELY THAT TIS ONE OF THEE SIDE EFFECTS OF TOO MUCH CELSER WHIFF,” shouted Mr. Oubladew, wiping the counter with a wet rag. “YER BELCHIN’ SHOULD WEAR OFF EN’ ABOOT EN HOUR.”
“IN AN HOUR!” cried Emalynn. “BUT WE CAN’T STAY HERE FOR AN HOUR, WE HAVE TO GET GOING IF WE’RE TO FINISH MR. PITT’S ASSIGNMENT! AND WITH OUR FORCED BELCHING WE’LL BE HUMILIATED IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY WE MEET!”
“IT WON’T BE THAT BAD EMALYNN. WE DON’T KNOW ANYBODY YET SO WE CAN’T EMBARRASS OURSELVES,” shouted Jacob in disagreement.
“THAT’S NOT THE POINT JACOB—‘BUUUUURRRP!’ EVERYBODY WE MEET WILL THINK WE’RE TERRIBLY RUDE. FIRST IMPRESSIONS ARE ALWAYS THE MOST—‘BAALUUUURP’—IMPORTANT.”
With no other alternative at hand they stood up to leave and Mr. Oubladew raised his hand, “HOOLD UP THERE YUNGUNES, WE ALSO OFFER FREE COONFECTION TO FIRST TIMERS ‘ERE.”
Bending over, he pulled out from under the counter a small clear sachet of confection and a thin rectangle pack of chewing gum, handing them both off to Emalynn and Jacob.
Eagerly Jacob held his new pack of gum up to his face and read out loud the label, “FLOATING GUM—FLOAT IN THE AIR WITH EVERY—BLARRUUP—CHEW AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS HOW YOU FLEW. CAUTION-AVOID SWALLOWING OR SPITTING THIS GUM OUT AT EXTREME HEIGHTS, IT COULD PROVE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH.”
Emalynn giggled softly and then held up her small clear bag filled with individually wrapped yellow hard candy. “CRANIUM CHANGERS,” she read, “THESE PINEAPPLE FLAVORED DROPS WILL TRANSFORM YOUR HEAD INTO A SWOLLEN PINEAPPLE AND BEGUILE THE PARTICIPANT TO DANCE THE HULA. CAUTION-AVOID SUCKING ON THE CANDY WITH FEET BURIED AS YOUR TOES MAY—BULAUURP—TAKE ROOT.”
“NIFTY STUFF!” exclaimed Jacob, amazed that there could really be such magical treats. “BUT I BET THAT YOU CAN’T GET MR. PITTS TO EAT ONE OF THOSE.”
“SURE I COULD, JUST WATCH ME!” exclaimed Emalynn. “I’M SURE HE LIKES—BULUURP—PINEAPPLE DROPS.”
After thanking Mr. Oubladew in between belches, they both miserably rubbed their bloated abdomens and started for the door. Jacob immediately regretted his over indulgence, his belly felt as if he were about to explode. As they left he took one last look back at the large empty pitcher on the counter and puzzled how they had managed to squeeze it all in. With stomachs sloshing they exited the noisy tavern into the crowded streets, pressing through the crowd once again. A sudden breeze brushed up against Jacob’s cheek as something small whizzed past his head. The flying blur stopped directly behind him for only an instant and then rebounded back in a flicker to hover in mid-air a few inches in front of his nose. To his surprise he stared at a tiny fairy maiden with golden hair and a sparkly white dress. She was just under a foot tall, and suspended in the air by clear light blue wings that were buzzing similar a humming bird. Respectfully she bowed her head and then looked up smiling at Jacob.
“Please sir, excuse me for rudely flying too close,” she said in a tiny sweet voice.
Unable to control himself, Jacob belted out a colossal, “BLAAAUURUUURP,” completely spraying the ill-fated fairy with second-hand Celser Whiff.
“WELL I NEVER!” screamed the soaked fairy, glaring back at Jacob. Angrily she threw up her chin and spun around with her wet hair flinging off banded drops of regurgitated Celser Wiff. Then in a blur she darted away, disappearing off into the crowd of shoppers.
“Did you see that,” cried Jacob awestruck.
“That wasn’t what I think it is, was it!” exclaimed Emalynn.
Jacob burped again and then replied with a nod. He knew Mr. Pitts had advised him to keep an open mind, but never had he suspected that he meant this open. They walked on for another half block, while Jacob eagerly scanned ahead for more fairies.
Suddenly Emalynn pointed across the street at a small building. “Look over there!”
Pasted on a wall of a multicolored brick building was a poster displaying a picture of a large pointing finger. Underneath the finger the sign read, ‘THIS WAY TO DALLANBACH’S FAMOUS ZOO OF MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURES.’
“Mr. Pitts didn’t tell us it was a zoo full of mythological creatures!” exclaimed Emalynn wide eyed. Excitedly she tugged on Jacob’s arm. “Oh, let’s go see it now! I’ve never seen mythological creatures before.”
“I’ve never even been to a zoo before,” replied Jacob, ready for a real adventure.
Together they hurried through the crowd following the direction of the poster, until at last coming to a tall stonewall with an open black rod-iron gate. Over the gate hung a banner in big blue letters, “THE FAMOUS DALLANBACH ZOO.”
From the entrance Jacob looked in to see a cobblestone path leading through a colorful flowerbed. They quickly entered through the gate and made their way along the path, weaving through the garden until arriving at a tall hedge and two large oak trees rooted on both sides of the path. After passing under the branches that stretched overhead they went through the opening in the hedge, coming upon a nicely green trimmed lawn. A large brown wooden building lay just beyond with a small pink booth to the side. A sign over the booth read, “Tickets purchased here.”
As they drew closer, Jacob could see a ticket attendant patiently waiting inside the booth. He was a young man wearing a bright orange shirt, but oddly from both sides of his head two furry ears pointed upward. Having recently known what it was like to be freakishly different, Jacob easily identified with the wretched fella and felt sorrowful for him.
Sighting their approach the young man offered them a cheerful greeting, “Welcome, welcome to the only zoo of its kind.”
Emalynn was first to reach the booth. Smiling she opened her purse and pulled out their Dallanbach money. “Two —‘BRUUUUURRRP’—tickets please. Oh, excuse me!” She whimpered, quickly placing her hand over her mouth as her face turned bright red.
“Yes, two tickets to view the wonders of the world,” replied the young man.
“I’m so sorry! I never meant to do that!” exclaimed Emalynn. “We just drank some Celser Wiff and…”
“Don’t worry about it miss, that happens to me on occasion,” reassured the young man, holding up his hand.
“Thank you for understanding,” she replied. “We’re here to see real mythological creatures.”
“Is that so,” said the attendant smiling, “then watch this!” He pushed open his door and suddenly leapt out.
Emalynn gave an ear-piercing shriek as Jacob dropped open his mouth.
“How about we start with a mythological faun,” said the attendant, gazing at their expressions with a wide grin. “My name is Wendub,” said the young man, as he held out one leg at a time, showing off his lower half.
From his waist down he was totally covered in short brown hair. His legs were exactly the shape of a deer’s, and in place of feet he had hoofs. Slowly Wendub turned in a circle, still politely modeling for his customers. Curiously Jacob stared at a pudgy little white deer’s tail and thoughtfully Wendub wiggled it back and forth for him.
“Er—uh I’m Emalynn and this here is Jacob. We’re new to the village and we’re just starting our training as sentinel apprentices.”
“My pleasure to meet you,” said Wendub with a slight nod of his head. “If you find me different, wait until you see the tiny six inch Leshies. We have a group of them touring the zoo today so I must warn you to please watch your step and be careful not to walk on any of them.”
“What’s a Leshy,” asked Jacob, lifting his feet and studying the bottom of his shoes.
“They’re spirits of the forest and live in the nearby Dallanbach Woods,” replied Wendub. “Leshies are shape shifters of a sort, as they have the power to change and grow into giants when threatened, but in their natural environment they’re tiny little creatures that hide under leafs.”
“You mean a teeny tiny little creature like that can change into a giant?” questioned Emalynn with a look of surprise.
“Oh yes,” replied Wendub, shaking his small tail to shoo off a pesky fly. “But that’s not their only power, Leshies have the magical ability to confuse sense of direction and they’ll use it on anyone that enters into their forest. In fact for that very reason the Dallanbach Forest is off limits. Those who risk entering in never come out. Leshies have no fear and are often hired out as mercenaries for battle. They hide all their earned treasures in that forest, and even notorious crooks are afraid of the Dallanbach Forest. The rumor is that they have a vast fortune hidden inside forest caves.”
With one bounding leap Wendub flew back into his ticket booth, “Just be sure not to step on a Leshy or else he will shape shift into a giant and in turn step on you.”
Jacob and Emalynn said a quick goodbye and then climbed the steps to the large building. Eagerly they entered in through tall double wooden doors and for a solid minute they stood in awe, gazing down a long corridor with rows of cages and pens, each exhibiting segmented environments full of bizarre mythological creatures.
The nearest display was a barred cage, with a horse-sized animal inside. Curiously they drew closer as if being pulled by a giant magnet.
“Camel-leopard, a creature half leopard and half camel,” read Emalynn from a posted sign. She then came to a stop in front of the exhibit and glanced up for a brief second at the creature before reading the remainder of the sign. “The camel-leopard hunts by first shooting a wad of spit at its prey’s eyes and then once blinded it will attack the disabled quarry.”
“That’s just like me,” said Jacob. “I always spit on spiders before I squash them.”
“Euuuh,” responded Emalynn, “you’re totally gross!”
The old camel-leopard feebly looked up as it scratched its hide against a tree. It had the head, tail, claws and spotted fur of a leopard, but like a camel it sprouted long legs and an extended neck with two mounded humps on its back. Jacob had never seen anything like it before and was totally fascinated. He starred in awe pondering how such an animal could ever exist.
From behind boisterous chatter interrupted Jacob’s attentive observation and he turned to see four rowdy dwarfs approaching. They passed by his side and drew closer to the cage’s bars. One well-rounded dwarf crassly shouted, “YER THEE UGLIEST ONE YET!”
The camel-leopard jerked back, as if understanding the insult, and immediately it puckered its lips. With a sudden stout jerk of the neck a wad of spit shot out of its mouth flying straight towards the dwarf. The green goo slipped between the bars and, “THAPP,” it smacked the dwarf square on his surprised face, splattering a sticky green slime everywhere. The unhappy dwarf turned toward the apprentices showing a thick pasty coat of green saliva horribly clinging to his face.
“ME EYES!” shouted the dwarf. “ME EYES! ME EYES TWON’T OPEN!”
Jacob watched in awe as long strings of green slime slowly dripped off the pudgy dwarf’s chin. He felt Emalynn tug on his shirt and turned to see her waving at him to go. Quickly they both left, not wanting to be the next victims.
“I’m glad—‘BUUUURRRRRRRP’—it was him and not us,” said Emalynn, as they strolled toward the next exhibit.
“Yeah, camelleopard spit is foul stuff,” agreed Jacob, taking extra care to step lightly and scan ahead for any unseen Leshy.
Immediately he spotted another sign that read, ‘A BARBARY LAMB,’ in large bold letters. As they drew closer Jacob could see a pen enclosed by a wire mesh fence. Inside attached to the limb of a tree was white furry ball that resembled a small round fluffy lamb head. On the fence a sign read, “A Barbary Lamb is a vegetable that is rare and extremely valuable. It is considered a delicacy with its meat and savory juices tasting like honey. The bones of a barbary lamb if eaten bestow the power of short term prophecy.”
“Oooh. That would explain it,” reasoned Emalynn, after reading the description. “That’s why it’s such a valuable DCR prize. I wish I had some barbary lamb bones, I could be a powerful seer.”
Out of nowhere sudden screams echoed through the building, and from around the nearest corner of the walkway, a group of terrified visitors darted out, running in panic towards the nearest exit.
“RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!” cried an elderly gentleman frantically. “A DWARF WITH GREEN SLIME ON HIS FACE JUST STEPPED ON A LESHY—AND NOW THERE’S AN ANGRY GIANT RAVAGING THE ZOO!”
A horrible bellowing scream pierced through the building, and without further delay the apprentices joined in with the fleeing crowd. Within seconds Wendub shot by their group sprinting with powerful leaps as he headed towards the screams.
They quickly exited the building with the other visitors, and Emalynn began to moan an angry complaint, “What bad luck! I was really looking forward to this!”
Upon hearing Emalynn’s protest, Jacob instantly remembered his curse, and a feeling of remorse pricked his heart. He knew full well that he was to blame for the mishap. As always, it must have been his rotten curse that had caused their premature send-off. And the more he thought on it, the more he was sure of it; his association with Emalynn would prove to be a thorny path for her, forcing her to suffer along with him at every bad luck blight that was coming his way. And no matter what was to occur, he would never be able to tell her the truth about it without losing out to her arrogance.
“I finally get a chance to see mythological creatures and then it is whisked away just like that!” continued Emalynn fuming. “And it’s all because of some wild Leshy! They shouldn’t let such dangerous creatures into the village!”
Disappointed, and with shoulders slumping, they both made their way back through the crowded streets towards the boarding house.