He looked over at the poor Lynex cowering in a corner and an idea flashed in his mind. “LYNEX,” he then screamed in desperation. “PICK UP A NETTER AND THROW IT AT THE OGRE!”
“GOOD CALL JACOB,” screamed Emalynn. “THROW A NETTER LYNEX, AND HURRY!”
The Lynex covered his head with his arms and shrank into a tighter trembling ball.
“YOU STUPID AND ME SMART,” cried King Gallop gleefully. “YOU SOON BE DEAD WITH LITTLE MONKEY. THEN I GIVE GIRL AND LITTLE MAN TO NURPLUD FOR SQUASHIMS!”
“LYNEX YOU HAVE TO THROW THE NETTER,” cried Emalynn louder. But despite her panicking plea, the Lynex remained motionless, frozen in fear.
“I KNEW YE TWEREN’T EH GREAT LYNEX,” suddenly cried Hobble, as Jacob narrowly skirted another blow. “YE’RE ONLY EH CHICKEN-LIVERED BRAGGART!”
Upon hearing an insult from Hobble, a hidden rage awoke from deep within the Lynex’s proud heart. His face suddenly turned beet red, and he began to puff his cheeks in and out.
“YOU ARE WRONG ABOUT ME DWARF,” he abruptly cried, in a trembling voice.
The Lynex looked up at Hobble, shook his tiny fist, and then stuck out his tongue. He next rose to his feet and leisurely strolled over to a netter. Proudly he projected his chest and stood over the netter with his hands on his hips.
“I AM A VALIANT HERO,” he shouted.
“THROW IT LYNEX, HURRY UP AND THROW IT,” screamed Emalynn.
Nurplud swung his club again, this time the tip of the bludgeon unexpectedly caught the side of Jacob’s leg tearing open a long rip in his pants and tossing him into the air. He slammed down on his side, feeling the painful sting of the cold rock. The force of the blow caused him to roll on the ground, and then “WHAM,” once more Nurplud’s club smashed against the stone floor, this time barely missing Jacob’s head. A wrenching pain was shooting up Jacob’s leg, and he knew that he had been injured. He made a desperate attempt to stand, but it was too soon, his leg was still numbed from the blow and couldn’t yet bear his own weight. Seizing the opportunity Nurplud sprang forward, crashing down only inches away from Jacob’s face. Looming dangerously over Jacob the giant raised his club preparing to strike the final deadly squashim, and then unexpectedly he paused, giving Jacob a wicked smile. Gleefully he cried, “ME FUN, SQUASHIM FLAT NOW!”
Meanwhile the Lynex with a netter in hand was carefully positioning his feet for a pitch. After finding his perfect stance, he then licked his thumb and stood holding it up to the front of his eye, carefully lining up his sight.
“THROW IT! THROW THE NETTER LYNEX!” shrieked Emalynn.
Nurplud raised his club, grasping it firmly with both hands, and Jacob covered his head with his arms. At the same instance a wobbly netter sailed loosely through the air. With all his strength Nurplud then swung his club downward, swishing it mightily through the air towards Jacob. By this time the sluggish netter had floated directly over Nurplud’s head and a piercing “CRACK,” echoed through the hills as the netter burst open. In a flash the golden net descended over Nurplud in mid swing, constricting and sucking in tight. Nurplud struggled to stand, and then tumbled to the floor, bound firm in the enchanted grip of the netter.
“Good throw Lynex,” gasped Jacob, with his arms still covering his head. Relieved that it was almost over, he slowly staggered to his feet. With Nurplud now bound he knew that he could easily fudazzle the king and bring the fight to a quick close.
“WAY TO GO LYNEX!” shouted Emalynn. “YOU’RE A REAL HERO! NOW JACOB TAKE DOWN THAT NASTY KING AND LET’S GO HOME!”
The Lynex sprouting a broad proud smile clasp his hands together, shook them back and forth over his head, and pranced around the stadium like a parading champion. The ogres crowding the hills began to noisily hiss and jeer. In unison the crowd erupted, “MONKEY BAD, OGERS SAD, SQUASHIM BAD MEN, WE WANT GLAD!”
King Gallup raised his arms to the crowd, and simultaneously the ogres rose to their feet screaming their ear shattering support. Their champion was ready to take down the intruders, and in demonstration of that fact King Gallup gripped his club tight and turned to face Jacob. From across the stadium both gladiators’ eyes locked in determined stares, and the cheering suddenly died down, leaving a quite hush that penetrated the air with tension so thick that it caused the Lynex to tremble and slobber. Slowly Jacob raised his arms and crossed them over his face, preparing to fudazzle. King Gallup slyly smiled back and then suddenly swung his club, smashing a small stone jutting out of the wall. A low rumble thundered over the stadium, and straightaway Jacob lost his concentration as the black pumice under his feet began to shake and break apart, exposing buried underneath the floor a red-hot blistering lake of lava. Shocked and overwhelmed by the sudden escape of heat from below, he froze like a startled jackrabbit, while the stone continued to swiftly crumble. But before he could sink to an agonizing death, he regained enough composure to recklessly leap to a larger section of floor, while Nurplud, who laid wrapped in the golden netter next to where Jacob had stood, slowly sank into the searing lava, crackling and popping as he burned and disappeared into the red abyss.
Safe above the eroding floor, on a solid platform of rock, King Gallup merrily stood sniggering his victory, as feebly Jacob and the Lynex jumped from one section of floor to another, attempting to stay alive.
“YOU NOT WIN! YOU TOO DUMB!” gleefully shouted King Gallup.
From behind Jacob heard a splash, and immediately he feared the worst; the Lynex had tumbled into the sweltering magna. Quickly he turned, and to his relief he saw the Lynex still frantically leaping from one crumbling block to another. The stone under his own feet began to wobble and sink again, and despite his injured leg he made yet another desperate leap to a small section of remaining stone still floating, hoping that that piece of floor would support his weight. He knew in only a matter of a few short seconds there would be nothing left for him to stand on.
“JACOB GET OUT OF THERE!” screamed Emalynn in a high pitched voice.
“Master Prince, save me!” cried the Lynex.
In desperation Jacob reached into his pocket and pulled out his small pack of chewing gum. With shaking hands he unwrapped the confection and quickly placed a stick of the gum into his mouth.
“THAT’S IT JACOB! THAT’S IT!” cried Emalynn, now with an excited show of approval.
Passionately Jacob chewed as fast as his jaw could move, hoping that the enchanted confection really worked. Almost immediately he felt his feet rise, and instinctively he held his arms out to his side to steady his balance. Up and up he rose, floating safely over the boiling magna. Timed with each chew he bobbed up and down in the air, awkwardly float walking towards the Lynex. In one desperate reach he bent down and grabbed the Lynex’s tail, just as the last piece of stone floor gave way.
“GOOD WORK JACOB. NOW GO GET THAT STUPID KING!” screamed Emalynn in a shrill voice.
“YER EH DOOING GOOD PRINCE, KEEP IT UP!” hollered Hobble.
Jacob held up the pack of floating gum and offered the Lynex a stick.
“CHEW THIS GUM AND YOU’LL FLOAT ABOVE THE LAVA LIKE ME,” he shouted, over the screams of the booing crowd. “DON’T STOP CHEWING AND DON’T SWALLOW THE GUM OR YOU’LL FALL TO YOUR DEATH.”
The heat from the lava was so intense that huge drops of sweat were now rolling off the sides of Jacob’s face. He knew that they had narrowly escaped a sizzling demise, and he felt truly grateful to Mr. Oubladew for his life saving gift of enchanted gum.
Hurriedly the Lynex took a stick of gum and peeled off the wrapper. With a quivering hand he slipped it into his mouth and began to chew so fast that his teeth hummed with the sound of a striking buzz. Up and over Jacob’s head he drifted, floating in a hover over the center of the pit, directly even with Emalynn and Hobble. His rapid chewing had elevated him higher than Jacob thought possible, giving the Lynex a fine view of the action.
“LOOK! LOOK THERE IN THE LAVA!” screamed the Lynex pointing.
The curious guard standing next to Emalynn stepped toward the floating Lynex. “Me see too!” he exclaimed, walking off the ledge and falling into the magma with a splash. “OUCH, THIS HURTY!” he screamed with an astonished look of surprise on his face, as he sank into the sweltering lava.
Turning his attention back to the fight, Jacob now worried that it might be too risky to fudazzle the king, fearing that the king may also take a tumble into the magma destroying the Galeeky Stone Seal forever. Deciding on a more conservative approach, one that didn’t involve a dark and depressive force, he reached through the hole in the side of his pack and grabbed his last netter. With only one shot to bring it to an end, he took careful aim and concentrated on making a perfect throw. He took a deep breath and in one smooth motion he flung the netter toward the king. But King Gallup, now familiar with netters, stood ready holding his club up with both hands. As the netter soared closer King Gallup vaulted into the air and swung his thick bludgeon like a baseball bat. “WHACK!” the solid strike sent the netter tumbling end over end back towards Jacob, and with a loud ‘BANG!’ it smack Jacob hard in the chest. Instantly a golden net burst open swathing over Jacob like an ocean wave, binding him tight.
“HOODY HO HOO, WHOOPITY WHOO! ME WIN, YOU TRAPPED BY OWN TRAP! KING GALLUP STRONGEST AND SMARTEST!” cried the elated king, as he threw up his hands laughing.
Jacob could feel his whole body stiffen from the paralyzing magic. Within moments his jaw froze shut, and the floating magic of the gum ceased working. Then similar to a heavy rock, he fell into the hot lava making a piddling splash. He floated on the magna’s thick surface for only a second, while Emalynn screamed, “NOOOOOO!” And slowly Jacob sank, disappearing into the boiling abyss.
“YE BREATHED YER LAST BREATH KING, I TWILL SLICE YE EN’ HALF TWITH ME AXE!” cried Hobble in an uncontrollable rage.
Leaping joyously up and down King Gallup waved to the crowds, while the merry ogres spread over the hillsides gathered themselves into small bands. Holding each other’s hands the ogres began to prance in circles singing in noisy unison, “OGRE STRONG, OGRE SLY, OGRE BASH BAD MAN GOODBYE!”
“YOU WILL BE SORRY YOU MURDERED MY PRINCE,” cried the Lynex, gripping his chest and pulling out a wad of hair. “I WILL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS!”
“It wasn’t supposed to be this way,” cried Emalynn, weeping. “It’s all my fault, I shouldn’t have pushed Jacob to fight!”
“He knew thee risks,” said Hobble, with a sigh. “Tis not yer fault.”
“OGRES,” bellowed the elated king. “YOU WANT SEE SQUASHIMS?”
The ogres in the surrounding hills stopped their prancing and began to chant, each shaking their fists in the air, “SQUASHIMS! SQUASHIMS! SQUASHIMS!”
King Gallup then held up his hands and the guards attending Hobble and Emalynn raised their clubs high, waiting for a final command from their king to bash their prisoners. Surprisingly, the lighthearted King then suddenly began to twirl around and sing:
“GALLUP BEST KING;
HE LIKE TO SING;
SQUASHIMS, SQUASHIMS, HE DID BRING!
GALLUP BEST TEAM;
WIN MEN WHO MEAN;
SQUASHIMS, SQUASHIMS, MAKE THEM SCREAM!”
GALLUP BIG HIT;
GOT LOTS MORE WIT;
SQUASHIMS, SQUASHIMS, POP LIKE ZIT!”
Most unexpectedly, and before King Gallup could stop his prancing and shout his final barbaric order to squashim, from out of the blistering lava burst the phoenix gallantly beating his wings. And clutched in the heroic bird’s powerful talons was Jacob, held by the back of his belt. The phoenix being a sunbird with the power to tolerate extreme temperatures had patiently waited in the sweltering magma. Only moments before Jacob had heard the unknown splash of the phoenix diving into molten slag, and from above the Lynex had surprisingly seen the phoenix. And now with Jacob’s ring aglow, magic fudazzle power was shielding him as it had done when he defended himself from the dragon’s scorching fire. In the searing heat of the magna the binding netter had melted away, and now with mobility fully restored, along with the mysterious dark fudazzle power completely controlling him, Jacob was set to even the score.
The ogres in the surrounding hills, from young to old, suddenly fell silent at the shock of Jacob’s reemergence.
Jacob raised his arms, and with a blank stare a black ray blasted out of his palms striking King Gallup squarely in the gullet. The king flew back slamming his head against the rock wall. The force of the blow knocked him unconsciousness, and inch by inch he slid gradually down the wall to come to a rest on his side, where he lay motionless in the center of the stone platform.
“YES!” screamed Emalynn, showing her delight. “YES! JACOB FROST YOU ROCK! IF YOU WEREN’T SO UGLY I COULD KISS YOU!”
“I MAY STILL SLICE YOU ANYWAY KING!” shouted Hobble with a happy grunt.
“PRINCE YOU ARE STILL ALIVE!” cried the joyful Lynex, as he rubbed his sore chest with a tear in his eye. “JUST LIKE ME YOU ARE UNDEFEATABLE!”
Immediately the crowds of ogres flew into an angry rage, bellowing a series of horrible ogre name-calling.
“BOOOO!”
“BADMAN IS BAD!”
“YOU STINKUM BADMAN, YOU STINKUM LIKE ME NOT STINKUM!”
“OGRES SMART, WES GOTS HEART, BAD MAN DUMB, HE JUST GOTS GUMS!”
“OGRES PRETTY, ANDS WES SMARTY WITTY, BAD MAN DUMB, AND SUCKS HIS THUMB!”
Reluctantly the guards untied Emalynn’s and Hobble’s bindings, while the Lynex clumsily float walked safely to the side of the arena. The phoenix next gently lowered Jacob back down, placing him beside his friends, and Emalynn happily leapt to her feet, giving Jacob and the Lynex a big hug. With miserable faces ogre guardsmen worked to lift the unconscious king out of the arena, while the disappointed villagers moped back down the hillsides heading to the village with their heads lowered. Jacob’s last fragments of dark fudazzle power were beginning to fade, leaving him feeling horribly sick. But even at that he couldn’t help but smile, happy to have it all over with.
As the ogre crowd passed by, their complaining could be easily heard:
“Gallup gots no ogre muscle, he fight like girl!”
“Why Gallup king? Me better!”
Gratefully Jacob looked at the Lynex and said, “Thanks, you saved our lives down there.”
“It was nothing,” replied the Lynex, holding out his chest. “Because I am the greatest Lynex, I do these type of rescues all the time!”
“If it hadn’t been fur me scheming insult, ye’d hab died eh cowards death,” protested Hobble.
“Your jealous insults are nothing to me now!” exclaimed the Lynex with an angry scowl. “Because I am the real hero here and saved everybodies life, including yours. I told you I would save your life someday! But I should not have because your stink still bothers me!”
“Me smell tis as sweet tas eh rose compared ta yer spineless sniveling!”
“Well I have only one thing to say about that!” snapped back the Lynex. “We are extremely lucky you didn’t fall into the lava like the Prince. Because your stink would have caused an explosion so big that it would have erupted the volcano and sunk this island!”
“Enn’ as our new hero ye would hab cowered in fear enn’ wet yer pants extinguishin’ thee eruption,” replied Hobble with a grumph.
The Lynex folded his arms glaring back at Hobble. “You will be sorry you ever said that! From now on it is no more Mr. Nice Guy!”
“Come on you two stop it! We should be celebrating now,” reprimanded Emalynn. “Can’t you two ever stop fighting?”
Unrelentingly Hobble and the Lynex continued to glare at each other, while King Gallup regained consciousness and arose to his feet. The angry king ripped the necklace from off his neck and then flung it towards Jacob, bitterly demanding, “Now you not welcome, you go!”
Jacob placed the long silver necklace around his own neck and turned toward his team. “Time to go,” he said with a smile.
The heroic team anxious to leave quickly hiked through the village, while incensed ogres shouted at them their best insults.
“BADS PEOPLES STINKS OGRES’ NOSE HURTS!”
“DUMB IS BADS PEOPLES!”
“ME LIKE SQUASHIM BAD PEOPLES AND THEY BE SORRY!”
Once outside of the village, the Lynex with the phoenix perched on his head led the group up the hillside. Upon reaching the crest they gathered in a circle around Jacob, and he hurried to pull his orb out from his pack. Together they then took one last look at the ogre hamlet below and placed their hands on Jacob’s shoulder. He punched in his memorized coordinates for the Frosty Mug Tavern and in a flash they vanished from Ogre Island, reappearing inside the noisy tavern.
“Aye, more customers eh popping en’,” said Mr. Oubladew from behind the counter.
“Tis me unk! Enn’ eh round of Celser Whiff fur us,” ordered Hobble. “We hab eh ogre king ta eh toast!”
Mr. Oubladew rushed to prepare the order as the brave team happily found an open table. Within minutes, Mr. Oubladew approached the jubilant group carrying a tray loaded with glass mugs and a large picture of Celser Whiff.
“Look, I just recovered the Stone Seal of Galeeky!” proudly shouted the Lynex, pointing at Jacob’s necklace.
Raising an eyebrow Mr. Oubladew set the tray down. “May I hab eh look?” he asked.
Jacob lifted the necklace from off his neck and handed it to Mr. Oubladew. Curiously Mr. Oubladew brought it closer to his face, examining the items with a great deal of interest. “It tis thee real stone seal!” he exclaimed with a grin. “But this tis far too dangerous for eh young’ apprentice ta eh keep. Ye need ta eh be cautious twith this lad, and doon’t ye think aboot taking thee seal’s test of thee sentinels! There tar many en thee past that eh failed thee stone’s test enn’ twere eh punished by cursed enchantment. They all came ta eh serious harm. That tis why they banned thee tests, just befoore thee seal disappeared.”
“I don’t plan on doing anything dangerous,” replied Jacob, taking Mr. Oubladew’s warning seriously.
“This tis very valuable,” continued Mr. Oubladew, “enn’ until ye can turn it over ta eh Mr. Pitts, I suggest ye give this ta yer phoenix there fur eh safekeeping. The phoenix tis eh keeper of royal belongings, just tas yer father used this bird ta eh keep thee royal ring safe fur ye.”
Jacob nodded, being over three hundred years old gave Mr. Oubladew wisdom that he felt shouldn’t go unheeded.
“What will you do with those pulchritudinous slippers,” asked the Lynex, as he greedily stared at the bright red ruby slippers fastened to King Gallup’s necklace.
“These look to be soome type of eh enchanted slippers,” added Mr. Oubladew. “Enn thee locket tis also very rare, eh toe nail transformation locket.”
“ENCHANTED, WHAT SORT OF ENCHANTMENT?” screeched Emalynn in a loud shrill voice that echoed through the tavern. Customers overhearing her squeal turned their heads and stared.
“Twell the locket tis eh transformation locket, enn’ if ye place yer clipped toenails inside, whoever wears it twill transform into yer image,” explained Mr. Oubladew.
“May I have the pretty slippers? Pleeease, pleeease!” begged the Lynex.
“All I really wanted was the stone seal,” replied Jacob. “And since you fought with me bravely in the ogre arena and helped me defeat the ogres, you sort of already earned them. The slippers are yours.”
“Really? You’re giving them to me?” cried the Lynex, as his big round eyes came to tears. “I shall treasure these all my life!”
“Well what do they do?” asked Emalynn, sounding impatient.
“One dooes not know twith these type of things until they’re eh tried on,” answered Mr. Oubladew.
“Well then go ahead Lynex, put the shoes on,” insisted Emalynn.
“I hope they doon’t make his head any bigger than what it already tis,” grumbled Hobble.
The phoenix flew off the Lynex’s head and landed on the table, while the Lynex stuck his tongue out at Hobble. Having finished his self satisfying payback, he hopped down from off his stool and sat on the floor, removing his shoes. The tavern fell quiet as curious customers throughout the eatery intently stared at the group. Mr. Oubladew handed the slippers to the Lynex, and gently the Lynex placed the large cumbersome shoes on his tiny feet. He stood up slowly and clumsily stumbled to the side, quickly regaining his balance. Upon straightening up, he flashed Jacob a thumbs up sign, while taking the time to stick out his tongue at Hobble again. Slowly he began to tap his feet, and in a sudden and most unexpected way, he exploded across the floor tapping his slippers with skill and coordination similar to that of a well-practiced connoisseur of dance. His body motion flowed with grace as he rhythmically floated around the room, swinging his arms side to side and brandishing a pleasant smile. The enchanted slippers were now moving so quickly that Jacob could barely make out the fantastic steps. Effortlessly the Lynex struck the wooden floor with the sole of his shoes, creating a beautiful melody of tap. The whole tavern was in awe watching the incredible performance, and immediately a thunderous applause broke through the room as boisterously diners began to stand and shout their earsplitting ovations. After several trips around the floor, showing off his incredible tapping, the exhausted Lynex at last tapped his way back to the table and fell down next to Jacob’s chair, panting heavily as he removed the magical shoes.
“That was wonderful,” complimented Emalynn.
“Oh that was nothing, nothing at all,” gasped the Lynex, pausing to catch his breath. “You may not have known this about myself, but I am the greatest dancer extraordinaire! This was only a mere sampling of my magnificent ability.”
“It tis only thee magic of thee slippers,” snorted Hobble, “yer no dancer!”
“Oh! Than you put the slippers on and show me!” challenged the Lynex.
“Enn’ prance around the room like a girl tapping her toes. No, eh real man stomps eh jig like so!” Spontaneously Hobble jumped to his feet and began stomping around the tables. The dwarf sitting at the enchanted organ immediately spotted Hoble’s performance and began to pound the keyboard, blasting out a loud merry melody in tempo to Hobble’s dancing.
Red in the face, the Lynex slipped his ruby slippers back on and stood up snorting like an angry bull. His feet began to tap and he hurriedly shuffled off toward Hobble. Hobble, then seeing his challenger approach, stomped angrily toward the Lynex. Within seconds the two had come together locked in a heated dance showdown. Holding their eyes fixed on each other, they flawlessly began to circle and entertain the crowd by showing off their best footwork. It didn’t take long for others to soon join in, taking full advantage of the opportunity to show off their own fancy steps. Ultimately the tavern exploded in dance, with everyone enjoying the merry celebrations. The rest of the day slid by quickly, and before Jacob had realized it, evening was already upon them and the celebrations were coming to an end. After finishing one more round of Celser Whiff, offering a final toast to King Gallup, they said their goodnights and the heroic adventures retired to their homes; all feeling satisfied for having successfully completed yet another fantastic adventure.
Back in his room Jacob tossed the stone seal onto his bed and placed the phoenix on top of his headboard. Exchanging thought with the phoenix, he said, “You saved my life today, I’m grateful to you!”
The phoenix looked at Jacob with a gleam in his eye and then gave him what seemed to be a wink. Jacob smiled back and then bent over to rub his bruised leg.
“Could you hide the seal and keep it safe for me tonight, and bring it back to me tomorrow morning?” he asked.
The phoenix nodded his head and without reply swooped down and scooped up the seal in his talons. In one smooth motion he flew out of the open window into the dark night sky.
As Jacob watched the bird disappear, he suddenly felt his stomach turn. His ring had begun to glow and surprisingly strong cravings for darkness enveloped him. It was a compelling force that fell him to the floor in wrenching pain. Orb coordinates appeared dizzily swirling around in his mind, sorely tempting him to return to the dark realm and bask in dark energy.
“What’s happening to me,” he cried panicking, as strange new feelings penetrated deeper and stronger, engulfing his entire being. The driving hunger was far worse than his dark fudazzle power had ever been, and he could feel it aching within every muscle and every cell of his body. He couldn’t stop trembling; he was losing complete control again. With all the concentration he could muster he fought back to regain control over his fearful thoughts, and the strange cravings slowly began to subside. When his sickening attack had finally passed, he continued lying on the floor, until he felt for sure that the dark cravings had completely left. Shattered from the sudden assault, he arose to his feet mumbling, “By golly that was the worst I’ve ever experienced. Visiting the Dark Realm has somehow infected me?”
Wearily he changed into his nightgown and fell onto his bed. Unable to sustain his worry for very long, he gave into his tired body and fell into a deep sleep.